huge life change time

I'm moving to Florida in basically 10 days.

Everything is changing ridiculously fast, and it's starting to get a little scary.

Please don't misunderstand me. I think we all know that I am absolutely elated to be working at Disney and living on my own and completely getting away from everything. I am. VERY excited.

It's just that it crept up on me. I didn't realize this would all happen so fast. It seems like yesterday I was sitting in Will's apartment in DC when I got the call from my mom- an envelope from Disney came in the mail. I asked her if it was "BIG OR LITTLE??" When she replied, "big!" I started crying and jumping up and down with Will. It's crazy that that was 5 months ago.

I NEED to go to Florida. I NEED to. For my own sanity.

I remember a few months ago when people would ask me if I was excited to go. I would almost always reply, "SO excited. There's nothing here for me anymore."

I can say today that I was wrong.

Even though my family drives me insane, I know they love me. I know they would do anything for me. All the "horrible" things I thought they did to me were all just because they wanted the best for me. They wanted to raise a strong young woman that could get by on her own and conquer anything.

My friends are the best in the world. These past few months have brought a lot of new people into my life and taken quite a few out. I know that it's all for the best. People change and grow apart. That's life.

My job has been 4 years of... interesting. To say the least. I can truly and honestly say that I absolutely HATE cold stone but I wouldn't trade a second of my time there for anything. I met my best friends there. I GREW UP there. I was SIXTEEN YEARS OLD when I started working there. Getting the experience of managing a store at such a young age is something that will go with me forever and that has taught me responsibility and to take pride in my work. Yes, that job SUCKS. A lot. But I owe a lot of the amazing things in my life to that stupid place.

And then there's Mike. The one person that has taken me on the biggest ride of my life. I've had my highest highs and my lowest lows with him and because of him. I love him more than a lot of things and I also know that I would be a completely different person without him in my life. This situation that we have here, with me leaving, is something we haven't even encountered before. Being together today was eerily silent and strangely quiet. We didn't say as much as we usually do. Like, we both know something HUGE is about to happen that is basically going to make or break our future. I can't express in words how scary that is for me. I know that all things happen for good, but at this point, losing him isn't something I can imagine ever accepting. He is my life right now. And that is both a good and a bad thing.

Had dinner with Hannah, BB, and Jessie tonight. It was just like old times- the 4 of us. It was so much fun to talk like we always do about our boys, work, and shoes and purses. We took pictures together and made stupid faces. We were all really cute all dressed up. Then it got sad. We knew what was up. Hannah is moving 3 hours away for a teaching job, and I can honestly say that I don't know when I'll see her again. THAT scares me. As I got into my car and the first tear drop fell, I said [out loud] , "No. I don't like this."

I know that goodbyes will be happening until I leave and I also know that they are a part of life. That's fine. Doesn't mean I have to like them.

I can't even imagine how saying goodbye to Jeff and Jason is going to go... I can't even think about it.

I am so grateful for this amazing opportunity, but these next few days are going to be no bueno.

<3